Awareness

Skin feeling
Eyes see
Heart beating
Ears hear
Smile shining
Eyes open.

Hug yourself.

Love is beautiful
When it finds you
Let it in.

*last post

Fading strength

Can you hold me
While I steady myself?
For I’m tired to my eyeballs
My brain is sighing from weariness
And I crave quiet stillness.
Can you hold me please?
Dear God… will you!

morbid

A man can love you with his eyes

And lie to you with his lips

And he can do the opposite.

Or not love you at all.

Scarred and pained

If I’m living to die… And I know I will die, just a matter of when… Why must I want to own anything?
Why would I want to get married? Who gives me the right to cut into another’s time until they too die? What right do I have to miss  anyone? We’re all borrowing time from each other. A currency we can’t repay. Ever. Why should I aspire to own anything if all I’m going to do is die? Why have children? Why not use the time between this moment and that final moment to gaze at the lightning dancing for us? Watch smiles, listen to laughter? Why do we clutch at everything so? Why do we want to own? Why can’t we share? Why won’t we see how futile it is to hold onto things? Futile to try to hold onto others? Futile…
It hurts me so much.

Nov 23

I woke up and put on some Kenny G. I thank God he made that man for his music makes me feel loved, like I’m being wrapped in the softest hug and being rocked ever so gently. Today will be a fantastic day.

Cracking open

How can i tell you
Everything i want
I think i don’t deserve?
How do i tell you my heart breaks
Every time you ask me what i dream of?
For even though i want it
And i may tell you
I don’t believe it will
Ever happen.
How do i tell you
I’m giving you space?
That space will
Become goodbye?